Mommy and Trouble Dog

Dear Mommy,

Today is one year in Earth time since I transitioned to spirit. I am so proud to tell you that I just recently earned my dog angel wings. I haven’t eaten any sofas up here or chased any neighbors. (I have to say though that it was really fun to watch Lowell turn white as a ghost [no pun intended] when he saw me running toward him. That old man can run! Maybe Daddy should tell him that he needs to wear a belt because his butt crack hangs out of his pants. Te-he! Anyway, to celebrate the momentous occasion of my wings, the boss of all the dog angels said I could make a request for anything I wanted.  Well, the only thing I want is to let you know that I am well and happy.  The dog angel boss said I could write you a letter and leave it under your pillow. You would be so proud of me, Mom.  I wrote this letter all by myself. I can hold the pen in my paw up here!

So Mommy, listen!  I’m not dead and I never left you! Nothing ever dies you know.  We are all eternal souls inhabiting physical bodies while on earth. In the vastness of the Universe, outside of the earthly plane, there is no such thing as time and there is no such thing as death. Our souls just move on to a different place and we have a different experience. It’s really great except it’s so sad for the people who are left behind on Earth. No one up here likes to see their loved ones grieving. This is why we send you little signs to let you know we’re okay (it took me half an hour to convince that blue bird to give me one of his feathers. It took another half hour to convince him to serenade you with his beautiful song. I wanted to entice you to come outside to listen to it so you could see the lovely blue feather from him that I placed for you in the garden on my memorial).  Everyone knows that feathers are a sign from spirit, right Mom? Just in case they don’t know though, please tell them in your blog. Someday the whole world will read your blog and even Oprah will come out of retirement to interview you.  You just have to believe in yourself. Everyone has to believe in themselves and ask God and the angels for a little guidance. The Universe is filled with endless possibilities. There are lots of mysteries up here in heaven that people on earth aren’t supposed to know until they get here. I can’t really tell you what they are or I’ll get in deep doo doo. But, I can tell you that you are never alone. Your angels and guides are always around you loving and supporting you.

Death isn’t really death.  It’s like that poem by Henry Scott Holland. I am just in a different place now; a place in which you have only been able to receive a glimpse. Yes, I know that you saw me that night. You’re not crazy. I was really standing (I wiped my paws first) on your bed, comforting you. It makes me so sad when you cry. If you could know how alive I really am I know you wouldn’t be sad anymore.

I know that you feel me around you. Onyx can feel me and she sees me too. Dogs senses are much more developed than humans. Sometimes Onyx and I play together. I love her even though she still steals my bones. I love to jump out from behind the door and scare the heck out of her. It’s so funny when she jumps straight up in the air and looks around. (hey who did that?) [It’s me, it’s me, Trouble! hahaha] At first she was mad at me when I left but now she understands. She says Callie and Ruckus are a pain her ass. Oh and they see me too.  When they are standing in the middle of the floor barking at “nothing” it’s because I’m there playing with them. So next time this happens, instead of telling them to be quiet, you can smile with joy because I’m there with them!  I sure picked a good puppy when I sent Ruckus to you! The red bow that Daddy put on her collar was a nice touch – thank you very much.  Oh, Daddy! It’s funny because he thinks he comes up with this stuff by himself. Hah!

I remember the moment before I left you. You were hugging me and telling me how much you loved me. You whispered that I shouldn’t be afraid because I was going to be with God and that my sister, Smokey, would soon come for me. You were right.  She helped me to cross the Rainbow Bridge. Mom, it was so beautiful.  It’s just like in the poem. I think a human must have been there and came back to be able to describe its beauty. Everything is green and misty and colorful and there are amazing things to smell. Everyone at the bridge is so happy and running around with excitement at the prospect of being reunited with their beloved humans or furry family again.

Smokey, The Most Beautiful Bridesmaid Ever!

When Smokey led me across the bridge, I was greeted by legions of angels; some even had paws like me. We ran and we flew through these amazing halls and tunnels that were filled with light. There was singing and joyous barking and all I could feel was LOVE!  Smokey has her wings too! They are gossamer with beautiful gold thread that glisten in the light.  I told her you wouldn’t like it when she jumps in the creek and then drags her wings through the mud (which she constantly does) but she never listens to me.  Oh and she asked me to tell you she collects greasy pizza boxes and half picked over turkey frames up here too. She said telling you that would make you smile. By the way, Smokey doesn’t roll in poop anymore. She says she only did it on Earth (I was never that gross) because she didn’t want you to go to work.   She thought if you had to bathe her you would miss the train and stay home. She’s very sorry that she made you upset with her. She asked me to tell you that one of the greatest days of her life is when she got to be your maid of honor on your day wedding to Daddy. The look on the minister’s face was priceless when he saw Smokey in that chic little hat.

Oh and Bandit and Sky, Muffin, Taz and Moey are all here. I have a couple of new best friends too, Sandy and Dixie. (you know their moms) We all have such a great time playing together although Sky can be a little snooty at times. She never wants to get her paws dirty.  There’s a gigantic palace here just filled with soft and fluffy feather mattresses that we usually sleep on. They are so bouncy! We can’t help but play on them. Sky will jump on the beds with us once in a while but she would rather just lay on her big fluffy pillows, have a massage and get her nails done. Can you believe there are no Asian nail techs here? Oops, I don’t think I should have said that. I’m probably going to have to go and do a good deed now but that’s okay.

You would love it here, Mom. This place rocks! There are so many dogs! No one is sick in heaven, Mom and no one has fleas! And guess what else?  All the bones a dog could ever want to eat grows on trees here. It’s so awesome! We can dig holes and, jump fences and run through vegetable gardens and not get in trouble. (I really don’t like zucchini but the breads you make are irresistible – It wasn’t Onyx, it was me who took the gigantic bite out of the bread you left on the counter that day. It was fun to watch her get yelled at though)  We chase bunnies and squirrels too and, – you’re gonna love this part – we never hurt them when we catch them – it’s just for fun.

I remember the day that Father Joe told you that dogs don’t go to heaven and how upset you were. I’m happy to say that he was completely wrong! When he gets up here I’m gonna pee on his shoe. Just kidding.

I thought you would want to know that I spend a lot of time fishing with your dad. He’s kind of cantankerous but that might be because he isn’t really allowed to catch the fish. That’s the rules! It could also be because Smokey is constantly rolling rocks down the hill and hitting him on the head. We all sit together at the endlessly beautiful clear blue lake and watch over you on Earth.  The lake is like a giant crystal ball and you can see everything. Don’t worry though, it always gets blurry when you’re taking a shower or in bed with Daddy.  No one up here is ever allowed to see naked people on Earth. But, Smokey did explain to me why you locked us out of the bedroom and called those special treats “sex bones!”

I also spend a lot of time with your Nanny and Poppy.  We eat ice cream together all the time and they tell me all about you when you were a young girl. I know you never ate furniture or shoes or other stuff like that but I hear you were really, really bad doing human stuff. Oh and they know you stole their cigarettes every  now and then.

Grandmom Rose is here too. She cooks a lot and tries to feed me her matzoh balls. I don’t want to hurt her feelings so I pretend to eat them. Mostly I just give them to Smokey though. She likes to pretend that they’re rocks (well, let’s be honest – they are) and aim them at your dad when he’s sitting in his fishing chair at the lake. Those matzoh balls are more like cannon balls. Grandmom Rose’s  cooking hasn’t improved since she’s gotten up here but, heaven is state of complete and utter gloriously happy consciousness and Grandmom Rose is in her bliss. She’s overjoyed that she can cook and bake all day.  The good thing for the rest of us is that no one has to eat her cooking! Heaven is a win-win for all!  I forgot to mention that Grandmom Rose doesn’t call your mom “malach ha-movis” (angel of death) anymore. She got in trouble for saying it. The angels made her eat her own gefilte fish (a/k/a Jewish meatloaf a/k/a that stuff that makes people afraid of Jews). She was kvetching (and retching) for a week.

Happy Mouse About to be “Relocated”

I also wanted to tell you that when you and Daddy get up here you’re getting a huge award from the  head mouse angel.  Whenever you guys trap a mouse at home and set it free, the mice sing your praises. They want to thank you for standing up and saying RODENT LIVES MATTER! IMG_0818They love the mouse transport machine that Daddy made. It’s ingenious! Do you remember the time we had orange mice because Daddy spray painted their tails to see if we were catching the same ones over and over?  Hilarious. The mice are still giggling over that one.  Ah, the joys of living in the country.  I know you would rather have mice than those icky water bugs from Philly that would pop out in the dark and scare the crap out of you. You might have to answer for calling the exterminator on them though. Oops. I’m not sure if I was supposed to tell you that. Shit. I mean, shoot. (I’m still learning, sorry, Mom)

Mommy, I want you to know that each night when you go to sleep, I come back and stay with you. All of the fur babies up here go back to their Earthly homes when their families go to sleep.  Sometimes I bring some friends who never had humans to love them. We guard and watch over you. I curl up on my spot in the bed right next to you so I can hear you breathe. I feel you reach out for me and cry because you think I’m not there – you’re wrong. I am there! I know how much you miss me but I’m not really gone.  I kiss away your tears and comfort you into sleep.  (you know you really should take your mascara off before you go to bed. I think after over 20 years of being with Daddy, he doesn’t mind seeing you without make-up. Nanny says to tell you to use more night cream on your face and that you should wrap your head in toilet paper and hairpins so you don’t wake up with hair all rumpled. I don’t know what that’s about. I’m just passing the message.  Oh and one more thing. When I was a dog I couldn’t talk but now I want to take this moment to tell you that you snore….really, really loud. You should take some sinus medication or something. It’s very annoying.

The only bad things about being here is that there are no burglars to bark at and most importantly, you’re not here. Other than that, it’s great. I don’t have allergies or skin rashes and my paws don’t itch anymore. There are no veterinarians here either. (I think those thermometer wielding bastards all went to hell – oops – sorry again) I now understand that the only reason you took me to the vet is to make me feel better and not because I was behaving badly.

I also want you to know that you couldn’t have saved me; it was just my time to go.  You made the right decision and I’ll always be grateful that I didn’t have to suffer. Allowing me to transition peacefully with you and Daddy at my side was a very comforting experience for me – just another testament of your love for me. I felt safe and unafraid in your arms that night. I always knew you would never let anything bad happen to me and I trusted you always. I’m so lucky to have you. Thank you, Mommy.

The angels are calling me to get busy with my deeds so I must go. Please remember that I will be with you as long as your heart is beating and, when it ceases, you will cross Rainbow Bridge to be with me. Love never dies and neither do we.

1931268_43821172458_3607_nAll of my love always,


Trouble Dog




*Note from Trouble’s Mommy

Trouble loved people and animals (okay maybe not cats so much) of every race, color and sexual orientation, as do I. We are all citizens of this Earth.  The reference to the Asian nail techs was purely for comic relief.  No harm or insult was meant.  I’m sure I will insult other races and ethnic backgrounds in future posts.  Everyone is equal in my world. 🙂


  • Chitralekha

    I miss my Lucky (labrador). He was my fifth child. Your blog revived too many memories – naughty, loveable and enriching. Thank you. Yes he came to me soon after he passed away, cuddled in my lap in his baby form and said – “dont be sad, I’m here with you and shall be back soon.” It took me more than a month to get over his transition on 5th March, 2012. He loved it when I was in the kitchen – his world used to be complete. He would just curl up on the kitchen footmat, happy, contented and of course guarding my movements! Naughty Lucky.
    Loved your blog. Am sharing it with my daughters and sons.
    Thank you.


      Hi Chitralekha,

      Your comment made me cry. I’m just a big ball of emotion today anyway so it wasn’t heard for the tears to roll out! The memory of last year at this time is still so fresh. Part of writing this was for me to heal and in that I also wished to help others heal. Losing a loved one (fur or not) is very difficult to go through. Your Lucky is indeed still with you, curled up on the kitchen floor watching your every move, I’m sure. Sending you lots of love and hugs. Thank you for your comment and thank you for sharing my blog.

  • Dear Dana,
    Thank you for sharing this very moving very touching letter from Trouble. I am moved to tears and cannot express how I feel right now other then I love you and you ROCK <3 Love n hugs from Mary


      Thank you, Mary. Remember when you met Trouble via Skype? She remembers you! She loved to be around the crystals. I just always had a hard time trying to keep her from eating my turkey feather smudging wand! Love you back. xo

  • Karen Fisher

    My darling Dana, thank you so much for sharing this heartwarming letter from Trouble. The love that you and Al gave her and still give to her and your other fur babies is such a wonderful blessing to all of them. I read the letter to Star and she was so happy to know that her sister Sky is happy and comfortable and most importantly that she visits us every night and is always watching over us. I remember Smokey at your wedding. She was such a great fur baby and looked so happy to be your bridesmaid. I am sure that all of the animal angels are having a great time together. As to Rosie, well, let’s just say there was no love lost there but I am glad to know that Sugar won’t growl at her anymore if she tries to feed her the famous “Mish Mash” that she tried to feed you and your sister. Nañny and Poppy are so proud of you for being able to put your thoughts into such beautiful words??. I love being your Mom!! ?

  • Joan Mitchell

    Your Mom forwarded this to me – we just lost our cat Benji, and I read this and for the first time since August 14 I smiled a little – after a cried a little more. You are a very talented writer, and this particular piece was written from your heart. Don’t you feel sorry for people who don’t appreciate animals! Thank you for putting these words on paper. I’ m sure Trouble was right beside you as you wrote this article.


      Thank you so much or your kind words! I’m glad you’ve been enjoying my blogs. I’m sorry for the loss of Benji. Sometimes I think losing a fur baby is harder than losing a human. The furry ones love us unconditionally. Sending you love and healing prayers. xo


      Hi Vanessa,
      Thanks for reading my post! I think animal lovers are drawn to each other and share a special understanding. I’m sure Trouble and Brooke are happily playing together in heaven. 🙂 <3 <3 <3

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