It’s almost Halloween! What a perfect time to talk about vampires, in particular, psychic vampires. We all have at least one of these energy suckers in our lives.  Actually, I know several of these creatures. They latch onto your energy and try to suck it right out of you. This is one of the reasons I don’t go anywhere without my black tourmaline and other protection crystals.  These stones are much prettier than garlic and they don’t give you bad breath. (No you don’t eat them)

Some of your close friends or relatives (or mother) may be energy sucking vampires. Oh, I’m sure they’re very nice people but spending time with them can leave you feeling drained – like you need an energy transfusion.  Their constant complaining (mostly mother) also called hocking me a chainik, takes its toll on you. They invite drama to their lives and then want you to commiserate with them. Being the wonderful beacon of light that you are, you attract these nuts to your vibration just by virtue of the fact that your light is shining so brightly.  These people want you to help them feel better about themselves and about their lives.  You are probably completely unaware of the personal toll this is taking on your own health and well-being. Is there a way to deal with these people without excluding them from your life? How can you protect yourself from these bloodsuckers who steal your energy in broad daylight?

This vampire like behavior usually comes about when a person who is unhappy or miserable (has a low vibration) will seek out someone who is happy (has a high vibration)  The problem manifests when the person with the higher vibration can’t steadily hold their high frequency because their energy is being drained by the vampire. The higher vibrating person opens them self up to the life force energy sucking of the person with the lower vibration. This negativity can affect and influence the person with the higher vibes on an energetic level, causing holes or tears in their own energy field. The good news is that you don’t have to be at the mercy of these lower vibrational frequencies. If you maintain constant awareness of your surroundings and the energy these surroundings hold, you can learn to keep your vibration stable, even when face to face with an energy vampire.

If others often seek you out to make them feel better, your vibration is probably on the high side.  This positive flow of energy is literally emanating from you  and others can feel this powerful resonance. As an individual vibrating at a high frequency, you are probably a loving and caring person who genuinely wants to help others.  For example, your friend needs your help with problems at her job, her home, with her boyfriend, whatever.  The friend begins to complain about how miserable her life is, how horrible the people in her life are treating her and, how depressed she is.

You listen to your friend and try to soothe her. You put yourself in her emotional shoes. You imagine what it must be like for her. You will begin to actually feel her sorrow and depression in your own heart.   You offer suggestions on how she might overcome these negative situations in her life but because her vibration is already so low, she will dispel your suggestions. She would rather complain. Eventually you begin to feel exactly what she feels and your vibration will lower to match hers.  The thing you need to be consciously aware of is, she cannot force you to lower your vibration. This is strictly your doing. You are literally allowing yourself to fall off of your high cliff into her pit of low vibes. This situation is very easy to control when you are practicing awareness.

You can remove yourself from any negative person or situation in order to protect yourself. (If you know of a way to get away from your mother without causing a fleet of guilt ships to sail, please let me know) It won’t always be possible, however to get away from lower frequency people and situations. The better option would be to learn how to stabilize your vibration. This will protect you in all circumstances and keep you from trying to jump out of a moving car when your husband won’t shut up about his latest conspiracy theory on how the government really is a bunch of reptillian humanoids trying to control us.  No more Ancient Aliens for you, Al.  I also think it’s time to up the meds.

Sometimes, removing yourself from the draining situation is the only thing you can do in order to stabilize your own energy. For example, you might not be strong enough to raise your vibration while working at a particularly stressful job. If it’s financially possible then by all means, I would suggest to leave the negativity and find another job. Realistically though, it’s usually not so easy to do this. The better option would be to practice mindfulness and psychic protection.

grounding crystals
Grounding Crystals From Left: Black Tourmaline, Labradorite and Tigers Eye

When the people in my work area are jabbering negative drivel and thoughtlessly tearing down reputations of not only the living but the dead as well, I usually just pop in my ear buds and listen to some music. Even the Grateful Dead (I hate the Grateful Dead) is better than listening to some of the ludicrous prattle at work. If you are unable to listen to music while at work, then it’s important to be able to re-focus your thoughts and concentrate on something that is more pleasant for you. If that doesn’t work then jump out the window.  (I really hope I don’t have to put a disclaimer in here) If there is no window, well, basically you’re screwed unless you have some negative energy absorbing crystals with you to help diffuse the situation and keep you calm. Unfortunately, I’ve yet to find a crystal that makes co-workers stop talking. By the way, music is a great tool for raising your vibration overall. Sometimes when I’m alone in my car, I roll down my windows and belt out The Sound of Music.  Why does your own singing always sound better in the car or the shower?  Feel extremely blessed and grateful that I didn’t post an audio for you.

So, if it’s impossible to walk away from a low vibrating friend, relative, co-worker or Jewish mother (Jewish mothers are in a class by themselves)  you can simply just refuse to play in her backyard. Your goal is to hold onto your good feeling. If she wants to play with you then she has to come to your backyard where it’s sunny and happy.  You will not go to her backyard where the murk and mud sucks you in and tries to drown you.

Changing the subject is a great way to go but that’s not always so easy, especially with your mother. (Does it sound like I have mother issues?  What Jewish girl doesn’t? I know my mom is going to read this and hock me a chainik about it).  Talk about a happy subject or event that the person with the low vibes can relate to. Just that small shift in consciousness can raise her vibration or keep yours from being lowered.  She probably won’t let you off that easy though. Before you know it the subject will be about her again. Try to shift the focus of the negative conversation to positive aspects of it.  Explain to her that there are other ways of looking at the troublesome situation.  If this person is your mother, I guarantee you she won’t be happy with you. She wants to complain to you and have you join her pity party.

Cousin Sadie with that meeskait daughter of hers whose face could stop a clock. She’ll never find a nice Jewish boy, what a pity; but I should worry?  Sadie, and Moe, (too bad money can’t buy brains) came over for dinner last week. She had the chutzpah to bring her own food and in a brown bag no less. Was she raised with wild hyenas?  Who does she think she’s fooling pretending to be Kosher? Last week at the party, I  saw her steal some pastrami and put it in her purse. Then she stole some cream puffs and put them right on top.  You call that kosher? And, she’s a gonif to boot? I deserve this tsuris in my own home? Boils should grow on her tongue.  What judging? I’m not judging.

Your mom or whomever needs to complain for validation.  Don’t join the party.  If you refuse to play in her backyard she will have to play in yours. This will either force her to raise her vibration to meet yours or, she will be forced to walk away because the vibrational discord has become so great. It will be impossible to play if you are not a vibrational match for each other.  In other words, don’t get drawn into the drama. Stay in your higher place.  If she wants to talk crap don’t talk crap too.

Don’t let the energy sucking vampire make you feel bad or guilty for not playing on her terms.  If you were consciously aware that she was serving you poison for dinner, would you eat it?  If you can’t get through to your friend with your positive spin on her negativity then she is just not in a place where she can understand. There is nothing you can do to raise her to that level.  The timing just isn’t right. Lowering your vibration by commiserating with her isn’t going to help her but it WILL hurt you.

This behavior change on your part may not be easy – especially if you have a history of falling into that murk and mud in her backyard. The people who are close to you may think you have suddenly become uncaring or disinterested.  Let them know that this isn’t the case – that you simply want to keep your vibration where it is. It has nothing to do with how you feel about them but, everything to do with how you feel about yourself.  Remember that your sense of well-being is not dependent on the behavior or thoughts of another person.

It can take a long time to learn how to hold your vibration in different types of situations. It takes lots of practice. Being mindfully aware of how you are feeling at all times will help you with this.

Keep your vibration high by laughing, listening to music, meditating and exercising.  Practice gratitude and mindfulness, perform acts of kindness, take your mother out to lunch.  She doesn’t need to know that the blue tooth in your ear is playing subliminal messages of universal support and guidance.



Yiddish Translations:

Hock me a chainik – badger you and beat your ear off

Meeskait – Ugly – Very, very ugly

Tsuris – Trouble

Gonif – Thief


Beautiful Crystals Courtesy of: Divine Healing by Mary


Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. I wanted to share this amazing work by my friend, Kathy.  It’s called “Familiar” <3







  • Dear Dana,
    This blog is so very important, because we all have family, friends and co workers who are these psychic vampires. Sure maybe letting them go or as you say jump out that window would help but realistically we cannot and this sentence is so good, ” Remember that your sense of well-being is not dependent on the behavior or thoughts of another person.” this is the key phrase for our own protection and health and you are right it is up to US to keep our vibrations up and not lower them!!! thanks for this great reminder!!!! Love from Mary

  • Karen Fisher

    Thank you for this lesson. We do tend to let the slimy soul suckers take us down. I’ll remember when I turn into a slimy soul sucker! Consider yourself hocked !! LOL

  • Ellie

    “Remember that your sense of well-being is not dependent on the behavior or thoughts of another person. ” That sentence is brilliant….. —– Loved the entire blog, witty, uplifting, a lot of valuable things to remember.

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