Humans, Star People or Something Else?


Why am I here?  I’ve often asked myself this question when I was getting stoned but I haven’t smoked pot in a very long time.  Now I just ask the question because I want to know why God put me on this Earth to go through all the crap I’ve lived through.

But, speaking of being stoned, did you know that just about all (maybe even all) native cultures smoked or drank some kind of plant medicine for healing or, to transport their consciousness in order to commune with who or what they called God? I don’t know about you but I find this fascinating. People have been getting high since the beginning of time.  People have also been debauched since the beginning of time. And gay. And thieves. And prostitutes.

Just read the history of the world.  Just read the Bible. It’s all there.

It makes me crazy when people say “what is this world coming to?”  I know I was a dirty, drunken slut (actually “whore” sounds more genteel, right? – I hate to offend)  in a past life but that doesn’t mean I didn’t believe in God or deserve His love.

I really need to stop digressing when I write. Sometimes it even annoys me……………..

Some would say we chose to come to Earth. Really? From where?  This just begs another question……….who are we and where are we from?

Okay, we know we’re humans – well we have human bodies anyway.

I don’t particularly feel like a human.  Humans suck – not all humans suck all of the time. But, a good majority of human sucks most of the time.

That’s been my experience. I hope yours has been better.

I have always felt like I was from “somewhere else.”  Ever since I can remember, I never felt like I belonged here. There is nothing worse than feeling out of place – especially when you’re a kid.  I covered up those feelings with a wise ass attitude but deep inside I was really hurting.  I was longing for something but I didn’t know what that something was.

I would look up at the stars and wonder what was really out there.  I was fascinated by the idea of other inhabited planets and galaxies.  My favorite show all those years ago was “Lost in Space.” It seemed perfectly normal to me to have a robot for a friend. ( but I did think that Dr. Smith was a traitorous pansy ass)

This much I know.  We all come from God or Source. We are all born of Earthly bodies. We all have a soul although our birthplace varies.  Some of us were born in other worlds or realms. Some were born on another planet or star. We were chosen to be sent to Earth or made the choice to come here to help raise the vibration of the planet.  Our purpose is to assist in illuminating other souls and to help them understand the meaning of life which, most of us are still trying to figure out.

Are you still with me or did you get the x out of here?  Okay. Good. I’m glad you stayed.

If you can accept this you must be able to accept the idea of past lives, reincarnation and ancient civilizations. How could only one planet in the whole Universe (now called Multiverse) be gifted with life?  Are we so full of our own egos that we can’t see that?  Do we not dare think so openly because of a particular religious affiliation?  If you are Jewish this doesn’t change the Old Testament stories. Nor does it change the Jesus story of the New Testament.  God is not limited or defined to Earth alone. God is God of a vast and unlimited Multiverse.  Let that penetrate for a moment or two.

Mainstream media usually depicts “extra terrestrials” (I hate that term so I am going to use the term “star people”) as being frightening and ugly. We are taught to fear that which we don’t understand. (Just wait until those UFO government files are declassified people!!!)  How else can we see these beings except as scary and manipulative if, as humans, we can’t even accept ourselves as being equal to one another?

Throughout ancient history, there are many, many examples of how the star people integrated with societies throughout the world. The biggest example that comes to mind is ancient Egypt.  Have you seen some of those hieroglyphs? Take a good look at the ones with the wings in the picture here.  You will never convince me that they are birds. The Egyptians knew how to draw birds. These, my friends, are not birds.  They are “ancient astronaut vehicles.”



Don’t go yet! 

I promise I took my medicine.

Just open your mind to the idea that throughout history our societies were influenced by other worldly beings.

The pyramids of Giza are positioned in a way that is more than coincidental. Three pyramids perfectly match with the stars in Orion’s belt. Even the size of the pyramids are related to the brightness of the stars. Two pyramids are identical with the third being half as high as them just as two of the stars are equally bright with the third half as bright. The pyramids are even positioned in an almost perfect line with the North Magnetic Pole.

Coincidence? Nah. This positioning of the pyramids would have required massive knowledge in science, geometry, and astronomy at the very least. How did an ancient civilization acquire such knowledge?

Ancient Egypt is only one example. Look at the ancient technology of the Mayans, the Aztecs and the Incas.

It still remains a mystery as to how Machu Picchu was built. The stones in these amazing buildings were not sealed with mortar.  The stones were cut so precisely, and wedged so closely together, that a credit card cannot be inserted between them.  Where did this technology come from? Peru is a seismically unstable country. What I find particularly fascinating is that Machu Picchu was constructed on top of two fault lines. When an earthquake occurs, the stones in the buildings are said to “dance;” that is, they bounce through the tremors and then fall back into place. Without this building method, many of the best known buildings at Machu Picchu would have collapsed long ago. Fascinating, right? How long did it take our modern architects to come up with this engineering?

Stories of intelligent beings visiting our planet from the cosmos date back to the beginning of time, and span throughout many different native cultures at various points in human history. Antiquity is filled with stories of beings, materials and flying objects that, according to modern day thinking, should not have existed. Maybe these people were just stoned. Or maybe they saw these things because they were stoned and their unconscious minds were open to receive.

This Multiverse is full of beautiful and magical mysteries. Open your eyes. Open your hearts to the possibilities.  Let go of what you’ve been taught and embrace what you feel. The possibilities are endless.  I believe we already know these mysteries but have “forgotten” them as we’ve transcended lifetimes.

This brings me to the 10 extra DNA strands we have in our body that medical science calls “junk DNA”.  No way. Our creator is way too intelligent to have left unconnected pieces inside of us.  At some point in the evolution of man, these strands served a purpose. We just don’t remember what it is. But, we are starting to remember.  We are starting to evolve as spiritual beings.

Recent information has come to light which reveals that the higher purpose of this so-called “junk DNA,” is to support a “multidimensional consciousness.”  This “consciousness” is actually our natural state of being. Realigning and reconnecting with our creator is how we can attain that state and even reconnect those DNA strands. When we are multidimensional, our physic abilities are reawakened and we develop an ability to connect on the etheric level. This is where we can live in multiple dimensions at once. We can hear, see and communicate with others in these dimensions.

Think I”m nuts yet? Ask Al.  When I come home he doesn’t ask how I am today, he asks who I am today. Sometimes I will ring the Tibetan bell outside of my door to clear the energy before I enter.  Other times, I will touch the mezuzah on my door post and kiss my fingers.

For those not born into one of the twelve tribes of Israel, the mezuzah, which is placed on doorways in Jewish homes, holds a piece of parchment containing two selections of verses (Deuteronomy 6:4-9 and Deuteronomy 11:13-21. This is the Shema prayer which expresses the unity of God. The verses start with “Hear, O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is One,” and continue with the commandment to love God with all of your heart. The parchment is placed in a small encasement and affixed on doorposts of the home. The tradition in many Jewish homes is to place one’s hand on the mezuzah when passing by. Some kiss the hand that touched it.

Sometimes I just say thank you God or thank you Jesus or Mother Gaia (Mother Earth) for providing the things I need. Sometimes I thank Lord Ganesha for clearing obstacles from my path. Sometimes I thank Quan Yin for the beautiful love she brings to my heart. All of those and so much more are magnificent. Can you give me a good reason why I shouldn’t experience all of it?

The point for me is that I am all religions and all religions are in me. I am the Universe/Multiverse and the Universe/Multiverse is in me.  There are many paths to God and God has many names. For myself, I have shed the idea of defining myself to a particular religion or belief system.  I actually love learning about all paths to God; all paths to the Light. Each story is beautiful and amazing in it’s own way.  It doesn’t matter to me if I get to God by the stairs, the escalator or the elevator. I am only interested in getting there so why not experience all of the amazing ways to know and understand God?  Of those various paths, take what resonates with you and let the rest of what you don’t need or want, go. Just let it go.

We were taught that religious groups had to behave in certain ways or do certain things or you couldn’t belong to their affiliation. Says who?  Really, tell me.  Says who?  Is God actually the CEO sitting behind some great big Christian, Jewish or Hindu desk somewhere? How do we know one story is true and another is not? That one way is the path to salvation and the other is the path to some kind of hell? Did God actually cite all of the individual “laws” or “rules” that each religion has?  Tell me. Show me.

Many say that the Bible is God’s Word. Perhaps it is but it is also full of contradictions.  God didn’t actually write the Bible, print it out and send it to each individual in the world by UPS. (I have nothing against Fed Ex , btw)  It was humans professing to hear the Word of God who actually wrote the Bible. How do we know they heard God correctly?  How do we know that they correctly interpreted what God was saying to them?

Did you ever think that maybe Adam and Eve looked like apes, thereby giving us the story of creation in both the biblical and scientific sense?  Perhaps they were ape like. Perhaps God gave them fur because they didn’t have clothes. Can science and religion both be right?

Did you ever wonder why in the Old Testament God was portrayed as a “vengeful and jealous God” and then one day he just changed His mind? Just like that He went from extreme vengeance by  proclaiming “an eye for an eye” to espousing “love the neighbor”?  If that resonates with you that’s okay but it doesn’t resonate with me. I believe there is much, much more to the story. I believe there are things that we will never understand as long as we walk on this Earth. I also believe that star people are somehow involved in the whole mystery. Call me crazy. It wouldn’t be the first time and I’m sure it won’t be the last. 🙂

In my opinion, we can’t rely on another person’s experience of religion or beliefs. We have to find out for ourselves.  Why don’t we let ourselves experience this freely?   The reason? Fear.  Fear is what keeps us tied to a certain belief system. Fear that if we don’t follow what we were taught then something bad will happen to us and we will not be in communion with God. Well, guess what people…….God is inside each and every one of us and if you look for the light you will find it.  The light will illuminate your path as you walk it and you will begin to understand your own personal truth. You will come to know how you were evolved. where you came from and possibly, if you listen closely enough, where you’re going.
















Thou Shalt Not be a Dick – God


And God gave Moses The Ten Commandments……..


(1) You shall have no other Gods before Methis includes Farmville and Candy Crush

(2) You shall not have idols –  for you fashionistas and metros out there this includes Louis Vuitton.

(3) You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain Is saying “Jesus Christ” taking God’s name in vain? I guess that depends on whether you believe Jesus is actually God. Discuss.

(4) Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holyOkay, I’m confused. Which Sabbath Day – Friday evening to Saturday evening or, just all day Sunday?  Can someone please clear this up? Oh, and can I still shop online even if I have to sit in the house and be “holy.”

(5) Honor your father and your mothereven when they keep telling you that you broke their hearts when you didn’t go to law school?

(6) You shall not murdersee number 5

(7) You shall not commit adultery okay let’s get this straight once and for all.  Does this  mean “thinking” about it or “doing” it.  Also, does this include porn? What about cyber sex?

(8) You shall not stealnot even pens or post-it notes from the office supply cabinet? Crap.

(9) You shall not bear false witness against your neighbormy neighbor is a psycho who watches our every move with binoculars. God may love him but the rest of us think he’s an asshole.

(10) You shall not covet. That’s fine. I don’t want my neighbor’s tractor, his smelly goats or his horny bull – I have enough problems.  If he drove a Mercedes or a Bimmer this Commandment might be a problem for me.  (And yes, it’s spelled B-I-M-M-E-R for cars and for motorcycles it’s spelled  B-E-E-M-E-R or B-E-A-M-E-R.  You’re welcome – I’m always happy to share my knowledge)

As a child I grew up with vivid images from the epic movie, The Ten Commandments.  It just wouldn’t be Passover if I didn’t watch Charleton Heston portray Moses. To add to the amazing visuals on the screen, I always had my grandmother’s larger than life image looming in the forefront of my brain. I recall one Passover in particular. I could see my grandmother’s  4′-nothing menacing presence standing in the kitchen. One hand was on her hip and the other was waving a large wooden paddle (She says spoon, I say paddle). Her face was a thundercloud.  Coincidentally, she looked like Moses just before he parted the Red Sea.  She thwarted my attempt to be nice to my little sister by swooping in and snatching the candy bar I had just given her.  (Who takes candy from little kids?) My grandmother had already cleaned the house with a madwoman-like frenzy in order to remove any chametz that may have been lingering in the corners of her home and here I was bringing more in. Uh oh.

According to my grandmother, (she thought she was God’s secretary) God said that Chametz was a very bad thing on Passover. (That’s because God had never eaten my grandmother’s farfel stuffing. Years later when I had a colonoscopy, the doctor found some of that stuffing still clinging to the walls of my intestines).  My grandmother never raised a hand to hit me; Jews mostly use guilt to keep their kids in line. But, on that day, I really thought she was going to clobber me on the head because I brought that “unclean” food into her home.

Later in life, I began to contemplate exactly why God gave Moses the Ten Commandments. When I was a kid, I’m sure if I had asked my grandmother, she would have had a fantastic tale to tell. But, I was beginning to doubt that her historical and biblical explanations were accurate.  I remember telling her I wanted a Christmas tree. Of course, she said, no. Actually, she said, “Du farkirtst mir di yorn”. (you’ll be the death of me) Then, she went on to say that originally, Jews began the tradition of having Christmas trees but the goyim stole that custom. Therefore, Jews could no longer have trees. Oh. (What else do you even say to that?)

Having fled Egypt with the help of God, the Israelites traveled through the desert for approximately 3 months until they reached the base of Mt. Sinai. God called Moses up onto the mountain to give him the laws for righteous living for God’s chosen people. God intended that the people He rescued from Egypt would become a holy nation of priests for Him.  He would give them Commandments to follow. These Commandments would be God’s Law for the people and they would summarize the spiritual and moral living that God intended for them.

The Ten Commandments are most certainly Divine guidance for living.  However, receiving and obeying them should not be the end of the story.  The goal is for humans to abide the Ten Commandments in order to purify themselves enough to be able to enter into a mutual relationship of love and trust with God – to reach a place where our hearts are consumed with love for Him. God said that He is the “I Am Presence.” This means that we are one with God; He resides within each of us.

If we simply look at the Ten Commandments as something we have to obey or else,we are cheating ourselves of the Divine connection God wishes to have with each of us. We then allow the negative mentality of “judgement” in our hearts, which, I don’t believe, was God’s intention.

God looks at our motives.  If they are pure, our actions will align in our hearts where God resides. Those who walk the Earth to be seen as men of righteousness simply because they follow God’s written law, are usually, in my opinion, hypocrites. It is my belief that although God wrote His laws on stone tablets, His intention was to burn those laws in our hearts to make us holy from within – to be accountable to ourselves.

In the Bible, God commands us to study His word.  I think, however, the way in which we receive this Word makes all the difference in our lives.  At the time of Jesus, The Pharisees were known for their strict observance of the Law. They were zealots about keeping God’s Commandments, yet Jesus, (a Jew) constantly rebuked them for the evil in their hearts. The Pharisees show us that it is possible to know the laws of God, but without the action of the heart, without the love of God from within, it is not enough.

We can study His word in-depth and still be self-righteous. We must be acutely aware that in our effort to keep the Law of God, even down to the tiniest details, the temptation is greater to judge and to condemn those who are not doing the same.  Though the Pharisees stringently kept the Law of God, they sure missed point. They were so absorbed with their own self-righteousness that they didn’t love other people. If they didn’t love other people how could they love God? If we strive to obey God’s laws to the point where we feel superior to others, then we have already broken those laws.

There are those who study Scripture very diligently. Sometimes these are the people who are the greatest stumbling blocks to those who seek the truth.

Scripture is very powerful! It has the ability to work good in our lives as much as it can work negativity in our lives.  It is my belief that when reading scripture, we should apply those words to ourselves and not to others. God wants us to look inside of our own hearts to understand the messages He brings to us.  If you want understanding and knowledge, open your heart. God, who already resides there, will give it to you.  Ask and ye shall receive. It’s that simple.




Instead of giving us the Ten Commandments, I think it would  have been much easier if God just said……………….





Marriage and Mother-in-Law Problems

Last month, I celebrated my 19th wedding anniversary to my devoted husband, Al. He puts up with all my crazy shit and, he does laundry too!  It doesn’t get much better. Plus, I can happily say that I never had mother-in-law problems in this relationship. Al’s mom was a wonderfully kind and gentle woman who only wanted her kids to be happy.  The best part was that she wasn’t Jewish which meant NO GUILT TRIPS!

When Al was a kid and he misbehaved, his mom would hit him in the head with one of her flip-flops.  The cool thing is, now, she smacks him from the spirit world.  All I have to say is, “hey mom, Al’s being a dick again” Next thing you know he’s walking into a wall or something falls on his head.  It totally freaks him out.

My first marriage was another story.  Mother-in-law problems were rampant in my household. The woman would get drunk and actually send me hate mail.


On my first wedding day in 1985, I remember walking through the hotel lobby on the way to the altar, when suddenly, I had an epiphany. I didn’t want to get married. I knew I wasn’t supposed to be with this man until my dying day. I refused to walk through the chapel door but my ever helpful mother pushed me in. She thought I was just having nervous jitters. (That wasn’t the bride tripping in the wedding video, that was her mother shoving her in the door. God forbid we should keep the rabbi waiting.  What would the guests think if the bride didn’t walk in?  Oy, I’d be mortified at the Mahjong group next Thursday)  Everything was a whirl after that. I felt like someone who was stuck in a dream. Before I knew it, I was married.

My mother-in-law had obviously been “in the booze” before the ceremony –  she stumbled down the aisle. She wore an absolutely lovely lavender gown (her daughter picked it out) but refused to purchase matching shoes.  Who does that? No one could convince her that she looked ridiculous with the black open toe suede shoes peeking out from under her gorgeous silky dress.  Wearing suede in May in 1985 just wasn’t done – let alone black suede with lavender silk? If the fashion police were at the wedding they would have booked her.

Walking down the aisle in a drunken stupor, she tripped and fell on her ass,  flask flying from under the folds of her dress.  I could see my grandmother having conniptions and jabbing my grandfather in his side.  The smirk on her face when she looked at me said “I told you that you should have married a nice Jewish boy”. It didn’t matter that I was getting married under a Chuppah by a rabbi.  As far as Grand-mom was concerned a reform rabbi wasn’t really a rabbi – he didn’t wear a yarmulke. Oy, Dana, dear. You couldn’t even give me nachas on your wedding day? Such a disappointment you are. A goy with a schickered mother? Thank God your aunt Esther is dead. This would break her heart.

Years later, I remember telling my grandmother that I was going to  marry Al. We were sitting at her kitchen table where she was trying to shove a bowl of borscht in my face.  Her kitchen smelled like a combination of  cooked beets and melted tea kettle. Yes, that’s what I said. Grand-mom would put the kettle on and then forget about it. Hours later the metal would literally be melted from the heat. How they never had a fire, I’ll never know but, Macy’s sure did sell my grandparents a lot of tea kettles.

Me:  Grand-mom, you know I hate borscht.

Grand-mom: Nu? Eat it anyway.

Me:  I came over to tell you that I’m getting married.

Grand-mom:  Is he Jewish?

Me:  No

Grand-mom: Another goy? You didn’t learn your lesson the first time?  You have a lokh in kopp?  (hole in the head) Here, just take this knife and cut my heart out.  You want some chicken soup instead of the borscht?

Me: His name is Al and he is wonderful to me.

Grand-mom: Is he a doctor?

Me:  No.

Grand-mom:  Is he a lawyer?

Me: No.

Grand-mom: What does he do?

Me:  He’s self-employed

Grand-mom: How much money does he make?

Me: Really, Grand-mom? That doesn’t matter. I love him.

Grand-mom: When money flies out the door, love flies out the window. You want your tuches to be cold? Here, have some strudel. I just got it from that Bar-Mitzvah I went to last week.  They’re delicious.  That affair must have cost a fortune but I wouldn’t know -after all,  it’s not my business.

Me: Anyway, Al’s in the glass business. He does well.

Grand-mom:  Oh? Glass business? Can he put new windows in for me?

Me:  I can ask him.

Grand-mom:  If he’s a good businessman he probably has some Jewish blood in him.

Me: (time for this conversation to be over and seeing a way out) You know, you’re right Grand-mom. His mother’s great-aunt was Jewish. (Liar! Liar!)

Grand-mom: Are you sure it was the mother’s side?

Me: Positively.

Grand-mom: Okay, tell him to come over and bring his wrench. I need my sink fixed.

There are so  many outside influences that can put strain on a marriage; mother-n-laws, grandmothers, Nordstrom cards, children (yes, these precious bundles of joy sometimes turn out to be over-opinionated adults with superior attitudes who try to tell you what’s wrong in your relationship). Marriage between two people is sometimes difficult enough without adding these and other influencing factors.

Romance can fail. Money can fail. What we need in our marriages is something deeper; something that can’t fail. We need our relationships to have a spiritual meaning.  What we need is a belief that our relationships are special but more importantly, a belief that they are sacred. Marriage should be a place of healing, growth, mutual respect and acceptance. No matter what is going on around you, you should always keep in mind the love that brought you together.

When you feel angry or disenchanted in your otherwise healthy relationship, don’t keep score. It will only lead to more anger and resentment. Relationships are always equitable; never equal. The balance constantly shifts and changes over the weeks, months and years. Dis-contentment can sometimes remind us that we need to go back to basics and cultivate the love that brought us together.  Make your marriage impenetrable to outside influences. Whatever struggle you have, share it together.  The problems you are encountering are an opportunity for your relationship to grow.

Forgiveness is key in any relationship, especially in marriage.  But, what meaning does forgiveness have if it’s only given when the anger is no longer there? Giving forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. It’s also not an excuse to ignore the problems in our marriages. Forgiveness is the gift we give our relationship so that we can move forward. We must refuse to let difficult issues fester and tear down everything that was built from a place of love.  Yes, it may feel “better” to stay angry and sulk.  This attitude kind of makes you feel superior – you have totally convinced yourself that you are right.  Your partner deserves your scorn and withholding of affection. We’ve all been there. But, what’s the point? Why cultivate anger and resentment when it can feel so much better to forgive and move forward? Think of all the time that’s wasted on anger; hours, days, weeks or even months that you just can’t get back.

Honor your relationship with spirituality. What if we brought God into our marriage each and every day, not as a weapon (you’re going to hell if you divorce me) but as an example? God loves us unconditionally.  Can you bring that unconditional love to your marriage?

I couldn’t bring it to my first marriage.  Sometimes it’s just not possible. The relationship lacked the basic tenets of  mutual love and respect. I can’t stress enough how crucial I believe these things are to have in order for a marriage to flourish and endure. I didn’t love my ex enough and I certainly didn’t respect him enough for that marriage to last. Unfortunately I ignored the warning signs until I stood at the chapel door.  I don’t consider the marriage a failure though – it was a life lesson. I do believe I was exactly where I was supposed to be at that time. The lessons I learned helped me to love and appreciate the marriage that I have now.  And, without the first marriage, I wouldn’t have my beloved daughter and grandchildren.

Marriage is a work in progress. In order for the “for better or worse” clause to work, there has to be a joining of the hearts and souls.  This doesn’t always happen when people say “I do.”  But, that’s okay too. Not all relationships are meant to last “forever”.  Try to remember that right now, in this exact moment, you are exactly where you are supposed to be and someday you will understand exactly why.  Then slowly, put the frying pan down and back away. This too, shall pass.

Oh and completely forget this happy crap I’m spouting off if your partner cheats on you – all bets are off. With all of my talk, I would be at the head of the parade leading Al to a pool of testicle eating piranhas surrounded by a mob of bloodthirsty wives whose husbands were cheaters. Or, just get a good Jewish lawyer. Same thing.




It didn’t take long for Grand-mom to realize that Al didn’t have an ounce of Jewish blood flowing through his veins.  When he asked for his lox with Ritz crackers and not a bagel, it was game over!

And now, Al is forever known as the “goy with the wrench.”







Meshugganah in the Bible Belt

phontoWhen I moved from the city to the country, I had no idea that my spiritual journey was going to evolve the way it did. It wasn’t my idea to move to rural Pennsylvania (and I do mean rural) – it was my husband’s idea. Of course it was his idea. There’s lots of stuff for HIM to do like hunt and fish – both of which Jews don’t normally do. Especially the hunting. Jews go to the deli and hunt for the perfect sour pickle and a deal on a pound of lean corned beef (after all, why should you pay for the fat?) Then, you go to the bakery to squeeze the rye bread to find the freshest one. Now that’s how you hunted for food where I grew up.

You’ve heard of the”Borscht Belt”? Well I was now a Meshugganah in the “Bible Belt” of Pennsylvania.

Being a city girl, I knew this move was going to bring great challenges and changes for me.  For the most part, I was open to them. I wanted my daughter to be able to grow up away from the negative influences of the city. This was going to be a great adventure for me and my family. I was leaving row house living and moving to a beautiful single home on 14 acres on the top of a mountain! (later dubbed “the frozen tundra”) IMG_0059

I always thought my home would be a split level in suburbia. God really does have a sense of humor. We were leaving everything behind and starting over; new house, new friends, new business venture. I quit my well-paying job. My husband sold his business. I wasn’t afraid. I was excited. The truth is, I had no idea what I was getting into.

Living in the country was complete culture shock. First, no Bloomingdale’s. In fact the closest mall was 1 1/2 hours away from my home. I had never heard of a “Bon Ton” but I quickly learned that they don’t sell Michael Kors. Not that I would need designer clothes where I was now living. Welcome to the land of  Carhartt, flannel and muck boots.

Me:    What is that awful smell everywhere?

Al:     Oh, the farmers just flopped the fields.

Me:   Huh?

In other words – fertilizer. Eau de Cow Poop or Eau de Horse Poop. Whatever it was it stunk, but it was all the rage. All the farmers used it. It was their signature cologne. It was just freaking lovely sitting behind them in church.

Second, much to my dismay, I found that PENNDOT does not come by at 6:00 A.M to clear the snow from the dirt road where I lived. I sat at the window on the morning of our first snow (um like 2 feet, I think) with my coffee, waiting for the snow to be plowed. I grew increasingly annoyed with every passing minute that the road crew didn’t show. I began to pace furiously.  My husband asked what my problem was.  And that’s when I found out that PENNDOT doesn’t plow my road.

Who the hell plows the roads then?

The local township plows the roads and they “get here when they get here”

WTF?  How am I supposed to get to work and get my daughter to the bus?

Duh. That’s why I bought you 4 wheel drive honey.

Oh Shit

I guess I should have paid better attention when Al was teaching me how to use the 4 wheel drive correctly. Yep, that was the day I put my pick up truck in the ditch. I was screwed. There was no one around to help me. I started walking (it was going to take a while) when I saw a truck coming along. I actually put my thumb out. I had never, ever done that in my life. My mother would have killed me. Jews don’t get tattoos and they definitely DO NOT hitch hike. But hell, I wasn’t in Philly anymore.

I got a ride to the one pump gas station “country store” which was four freaking miles down the road. On my way inside to use the phone (no cell service) I walked past three township trucks with shiny snow plows all parked out in front of the store. When I went in, the township guys all looked nice and toasty drinking their coffee with their white powdered sugar-coated lips.  After a lively exchange, (actually it was only me doing the talking (yelling)) I made some new “friends” that day.  The coffee drinking, donut eating township guys were kind enough to get my truck out of the ditch.  When I got home that night my whole road was nicely plowed along with my entire front lawn! Satisfaction and mirth emanated from my soul. I was joyful! The next morning I baked cookies and took them to the “men at work” (haha) at the store  (oh, did I tell you I got fat living in the country?) and I was in! I was almost “one of them” Yaay! No more issues! The guys were even waving to me as I drove by now. Progress.

A few years later I found out the incident that day was the topic of many jokes for a very long time. Some of the locals would gather at the firehouse and they would literally “take bets” on how long it would take my family to move down off of that mountain.  I understood that the townspeople gave us a lot of respect for living up on Mt. Everest. 🙂  I joke but all in all the people were good even if some of the local volunteer ambulance crew was known not to show up for a call if they didn’t like you. (No joke) Thank God I was a good baker.

I learned lots of new words living in the country. For example,  the word, Grange. Grange is a community organization with its roots in agriculture. I think our local “Grange” was more like something out of the Thomas Tryon novel, Harvest Home. I wasn’t really sure what they did in that building even though it was said to be where quilters gathered on Tuesday nights. Yeh right.

I also learned that water (pronounced “wooder” in Philadelphia) was actually pronounced”watter” in these here parts.  I still can’t bring myself to say “watter” although my husband and my daughter both crossed over to the dark side of country twang.  A roof was a “ruff”, a root was a “rut” and the only directions given were “upta or downta” as in upta the fire hall or downta the township building.  e.g. The Halloween party is upta the fire hall tonight. I’m still not sure if  door to door trick or treating wasn’t allowed because we lived in such a rural area or, because of the Grange. I’m telling you something was going on in that building and people knew they shouldn’t be “in town” after dark!

I knew I was different from the locals immediately. The fact that they referred to my family and I as “flatlanders” was a clear giveaway that it was going to take some time to win them over. How would we start a new business with attitudes like that? I will never forget our curiosity seeking first customer. He came into our business and drawled,   “It’s nice to have you here.  I sure hope you don’t have to go on welfare until your business makes it because it could take a few years for people to start to like you, you know.”  Wow! Thanks! Please stop in again. By the way, he didn’t buy anything.  The second customer who came in just wanted to use our fax machine and gossip about the neighbors. I was in hell.

Was there any place to get a manicure around here?

IMGP1715anewMajestic mountains, pristine countryside still untouched, fresh air and golden silence (you hear that? nope. that’s right) except for the time my neighbors cow herd ran away and decided to camp in my back yard at 3:00 A.M. The farmer was pissed when we woke him up and asked him to come get his cows.  What, not your cows? Oooops, sorry. How can you tell anyway? They all look alike to me. And, with all the beauty of the countryside and the “farmy” stuff going on, here I am, this citified Jewish girl, (with all of my teeth) riding through town in a shiny new red pick up truck blaring Bruce Springsteen and Hava Nagila on the stereo.  Between annoying the wrong cow owner and the townspeople talking about me playing *(see note below) “that music those people who have horns listen to,” I’m pretty sure my name was in the paper that week. I was quite possibly headline news.

Ah yes. The local “paper.” It was excellent reading for the toilet. (excuse the visual) It was the town gossip rag. It contained everything such as the price of apples at the local grocery store, hospital admissions and releases, church news, and a very interesting lost and found section. Lost: 600 lb. bull. What? How can you lose a 600 lb. bull? Drink too much corn liquor, did ya?  

Just about everyone went to church and the churches were all very cliquey. I was shocked (not really) to find that there wasn’t one synagogue around for hundreds of miles. People asked you what church you belonged to as if that defined you as a person. I quickly found that Catholics were a minority and there were “no damn Lutherans around here”. Okay then.

We began going to the Catholic church. Our first two friends in the area were the priest and the local undertaker. We were covered in the event of sudden death. I went to the Catholic church because I didn’t really have another religious preference at that time and also because my husband is a (mostly) practicing Catholic. The one thing I wanted more than anything from the church experience was family unity. Sunday was family day and everything that we did on Sunday, we did together. It was a wonderful time in our lives. So if going to church every Sunday was part of me living a wonderful life, I was okay with that.  If my grandmother saw me kneeling in church……….Oy, I can’t even finish that sentence. Never mind.

We got along great with the priest! He was awesome until you didn’t agree with him. He  would often come to dinner at our home. We got fat on homemade pie together (yeh baking pies was my newest hobby yee haw) and played lots of games of Pictionary. (what a sore loser he was). He stayed late into the night and always went home with a full belly and an argument from me. But he still kept coming back. (sort of like a Jehovah’s witness but not exactly) I’ll never forget the night he told me that dogs can’t go to heaven because they don’t have a soul. When I was finished arguing with him, he didn’t speak to me for weeks.  LOL! I loved how “human” Father Joe was even though he really tried his best to be “holy.”  It was great.

We lived in the country for 8 years. Those years were rich in unique learning experiences and filled with many, many moments of joy.  Something was always missing, however. Spiritually speaking I think one of the biggest things I learned when I lived in “Green Acres” is what I DIDN’T want to do with the rest of my life.  I didn’t want to stay in a place where my spiritual growth was stunted. I longed to be with people who had open minds and hearts. There weren’t too many options for social media interaction back then. Wow, that sounded prehistoric!

My daughter went to college. She was hours away and I missed her. Without the whirlwind of her activities and friends, I turned inward. There was definitely a lot of empty nest syndrome going on.  I sat at the computer for hours like a pathetic puppy just waiting for her to get on AOL. I spent a lot of time alone and did a lot of reflecting. I wanted to be closer to my daughter and I knew she would never come back to the country. Her career path was city track all the way. I also wanted to be somewhere where I could make a difference in people’s lives. I had so much inside of me that I wanted to give. The wonderful but very closed-minded community in which I lived wasn’t going to allow for that. It was time to say goodbye.

I cried the day I left my beautiful home in the mountains. I still cry when I think about it because of the wonderful life we had there. We were so blessed in so many ways. I’ve been in my new home for almost nine years now.  My daughter never did come home. She graduated college, went to grad school, got married, had children and has a very successful career. I’m grateful to live only two hours away from her.

I always maintained that if my daughter was able to become a college graduate and never have to worry about anyone taking care of her, I would die happy.  Thank God, Kine-hora, pu pu pu this happened for her. I’m thrilled for her happiness but I don’t want to die…….not yet.  I’m not ready. I need something for me now. I spent 21 years micromanaging her. (her words) –  kill me. how does a daughter say such things to a mother? I’m ferklempt from this kid.

It was now time to do something that would make my soul sing.

Look out. Here I am and I have a hell of a lot more to say! Come back next week and visit me again!



*Note – my grandmother always told me that the only reason the world thinks that Jews have horns is because there was a statue of Moses at 52nd & Parkside in Philadelphia, where he was depicted with “high hair.”  I cannot corroborate that such a statue ever existed, nor can I say that said statue started the rumor that “Jews have horns.”


Borscht Belt:         a resort area in the Catskills, frequented mainly by Jews

Meshugganah:     Crazy

Kine-hora:             An expression used to ward off the evil eye

Pu, Pu, Pu:             Jewish equivalent of “spitting” to ward off the evil eye

Ferklempt:            When you well up and are on the verge of tears

A Heathen with a Christ Consciousness


Hello. My name is Dana and I’m a heathen. (well that’s what my husband calls me anyway).  Although I do have a “Christ Consciousness,” I haven’t practiced main stream religion for many years.  I don’t plan on changing this anytime soon.

The above statements are how I plan to introduce myself to Father Dan, the priest my husband invited to our home for a “house blessing” and some coffee talk. (Cawfee tawk) – thank you Linda Richman and Mike Myers -coffee talk is not just for Jews by the way).

More later on how the house blessing went.

I told Al that I would be happy to meet Father Dan but I didn’t feel it was necessary for him to bless the house when I could do it myself.

Me:  You do know I regularly bless and cleanse the house with sage, right honey? (I don’t know how he wouldn’t realize this – the odor can be overpowering –  but I thought I’d mention it anyway)

Al:   It’s not the same.

Me:    Why

Al:     Because it’s not (hesitates and clears throat) ……….. “legal”

Me:   Legal? Legal, how?

Al:    It just isn’t. That’s all.

Me:  I see. (no I don’t – rolling my eyes and singsonging in my head)

Al:  A priest or a  minister or some kind of clergy who’s been ordained needs to bless the house for it to be “right”.

Me:  Oh, you mean someone who has an “affiliation” to an institution that tells you how you should believe in God? Like what rules you have to follow and stuff like that?

Al:  Why are you trying to start an argument?

Me:  (I ignored him) Can I ask you a question?

Al:   Do I have a choice?

Me:  No. Was Jesus a Christian?

Al:  What the hell are you talking about? (sputtering)

Me: Jesus was born a Jew. He died a Jew.  All of this Christian/Catholic/Protestant stuff happened later.  He taught a “consciousness.” He taught love. He didn’t teach people to go to church on Sundays then go and break all the rules, receive forgiveness by faulty humans and go out and do it all over again.

I know I’m going to get flack for this blog – it’s okay – bring it on. Diverse opinions are welcome here!

Discussions of this type are ongoing in my house. My husband is a Catholic and I would say that he follows about 75% of the rules 60% of the time.  The other 25% of the rules he makes up to justify whatever situation he may be currently facing that doesn’t fit in with the church’s law.  My husband is a Christian and he’s a very spiritual man, (most of the time) however, I think he’s a Catholic strictly for “insurance” reasons.  He knows and understands spiritual truth in his heart. He understands that God is within all of us and that we have a direct connection to Him.  But, he remains a Catholic “just in case” the church is right and his own heart isn’t.  Of course hubby won’t know this truth until he transitions so this is why he carries the church “insurance.” Better to be safe than sorry when you die.

As you probably know, I was born and raised a Jew.  It’s a beautiful religion with rich traditions and I love many aspects of it. I just don’t want to practice it. For me, it’s too limiting.  I was instructed into religion by the Old Testament where and “eye for an eye…………..” was an acceptable practice. The Old Testament also tells us to “……………love thy neighbor as thyself” which is in complete contrast to poking someone’s eye out if you got pissed.  So, what are we supposed to believe?

Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement in the Jewish faith means fasting from sundown to sundown. If you do this, any sins you may have committed in the past year will be forgiven. Traditionally on this day Jews go to the river to  “cast your bread upon the waters.” (Taslich) As the river carries the bread downstream and it dissipates, so shall God carry away all of your sins.  It’s a nice thought but really? All of your sins for the year? So you could just do whatever you want the entire year and all you have to do is starve yourself for a day and throw some bread to ducks?  This just didn’t work for me. I knew there was way more. Much more.

As I grew older I began to really question who or what God is and my purpose here on earth. I found myself “church hopping”. I attended the Catholic, Methodist, Lutheran, Southern Baptist (that was a hoot) and various “Born Again Christian” churches. I even checked out the Jews for Jesus.  I read about Buddhism (there weren’t any temples in my predominantly Jewish neighborhood go figure), a little bit about Hinduism and a little bit about Islam. I was more confused than ever.  Most of it made sense. How could all of those institutions be right (or somewhat right), yet the world be so divided about God?

As I was questioning all things spiritual, I happened to be living with my grandmother. She found some Christian literature in my underwear drawer one day (yep nothing was private) and freaked out. Oy vey. She called my father and told him I was involved in a cult.  That’s when I became the black sheep of the family; the pariah. Whatever. It made me more determined to discover my truth. I do have to say though that holiday dinners were a bit strained.  I’m pretty sure I heard my uncle call me an “idol worshiper” when he thought I wasn’t listening. If rabbis heard confessions, my family would have dragged my ass to synagogue.

It isn’t just Jewish people who get upset when you break “the rules” though.  I was only threatened with being cut out of THE WILL (there wasn’t much money so I was fairly certain I had nothing to worry about), but my Christian rule breaking friends were threatened with burning in hell for all eternity.  In my family it was a SIN (probably a mortal sin if I had to compare it to Catholic Church standards)  if you ate a ham sandwich on Passover.  Jews are known to be adept at imposing huge amounts of guilt on one another. It really is a fine art. With all the nagging that a person has to listen to for committing a sin, I sometimes think that burning in hell might be a better alternative.

So where did all of this confusion come in anyway? It is said that the Bible is the word of God. Okay. I can accept that. But perception is reality. Everyone perceives what they read in a different way. Each religion has their own interpretation of the scriptures. One sentence can mean thirty different things to thirty different people.  So who is right?

The truth is that we really don’t know with exact certainty what happened at the time of Christ and at the time after his death. Except for the Romans, the people at that time were mostly all Jewish. Everyone knows that when you have 2 Jews you have 3 opinions so what happens if there are thousands of Jews all trying to wrap their heads around things they had never before encountered? A calamity I tell you! 🙂

Many times when people hear “Christ” or “Jesus,” they immediately fall into a  preconceived idea based upon their upbringing or particular religious background. Throughout history, the perspectives people have had on the life and teachings of Jesus have been varied. Some say Jesus was “just a teacher.” Some have called him a prophet. Some have disregarded him completely.  Even the opinions of those who call themselves Christian are not always in complete agreement about the meaning of Jesus and his work.

After all, How do we really know that everything written in the Bible (either New or Old Testament) is truly the Word of God? Is it a possibility that some of it could have been influenced by man’s opinion or perception? And if we could believe it, how do we know that the Bible we know today was actually THE ONE that was actually written? In my opinion, it isn’t. (Check out the Nag Hamadi texts – lost books of the New Testament  found in Egypt in 1945) . How did those texts get “lost”?  Who “lost” them?

Then there is the already acknowledged but wide variety of opinions on the “apocrypha”. Who decided which of these texts were to go into the Bible and which ones were to be left out? Trust me when I tell you that it wasn’t God who decided. (It is entirely possible, however, that The Council of Trent (1545-1563) had a God complex). Is it so difficult to believe that the people who lived in and around the time of Christ (and later) didn’t have personal and political agendas that may have altered the things that Christ really taught?

There are people like myself who look at Jesus’ life in a way that unifies all of humankind rather than dividing it. This is the Christ Consciousness and it has nothing to do with religion. It has everything to do with love and humanity.  God has given us a gift of free will. If we err, we eventually will rise and return to God because God is within.  We will live our spiritual inheritance and experience a relationship with the I AM presence.

I am not a student of the Bible and don’t pretend to be. I’ve read the Bible but quite honestly, not a whole lot stuck with me.  For me, personally, it’s all about how I feel not what I’m told I should believe. I know that God is in my heart.  After all, He created me. Through my personal experiences I have “found” God by looking within.  To me, God is love. God is the GPS system of my soul. Jesus preached the word of God through the Old Testament. He brought forth the true meaning of the that Word with one other very powerful word – LOVE. If we approach all things we do in our lives and every decision we make with a heart full of LOVE, we can’t go wrong. When we steer off course by not listening to our GPS we are wise enough to recognize that what we’ve done is not in line with our God self.

And why are mere humans wise enough to recognize these things by ourselves, you ask? Because God is within. We just have to listen with our hearts. <3



IMGP6559sIn every bit of darkness there shines a light. Always, always, look to the light.


Thank you to my sister, Holly Robbins, for her beautiful photography and for always shining her light on my dark moments.  <3














CRPS/RSD and Spiritual Healing: Don’t Own the Dis-EASE


CRPS/RSD is a debilitating disease. It’s a disease that afflicts me personally but I’m not going to own it.  I am not going to say that I “have” CRPS/RSD.  I acknowledge its presence but I don’t dwell on it and I refuse to be defined by it. This is where spiritual healing comes in.

Part of my intention here is to bring awareness to CRPS/RSD. Most people don’t  know what it is. Not only does the disease affect me but it also affects other members of my family. I don’t necessarily want to focus this blog on that particular disease though. Any disease could be the topic in this forum. Most of us are afflicted with something.

Aside from CRPS/RSD, I suffer (“oh how I suffer” :-)) with a constant aching pain in the tuchas (my husband). Al, I’m so glad you’re clueless when it comes to the internet. You’ll never see my posts! Tee hee!

But, as the infamous “yenta” and the bubbes always say, “even the worst husband is better than no husband, God forbid. Pu, pu pu! Right? Of course, right? 🙂

The following is directly from the website:

CRPS/RSD is a chronic neuro-inflammatory disorder. It is classified as a rare disorder by the United States Food and Drug Administration. However, up to 200,000 individuals experience this condition in the United States, alone, in any given year.

CRPS occurs when the nervous system and the immune system malfunction as they respond to tissue damage from trauma. The nerves misfire, sending constant pain signals to the brain. The level of pain is measured as one of the most severe on the McGill University Pain Scale. CRPS generally follows a musculoskeletal injury, a nerve injury, surgery or immobilization.

CRPS/RSD is very painful. The classic pain is a burning sensation but there are many other diverse and painful symptoms.  This disease is no joke despite some in the medical community who still offer the theory that the pain is “all in your head”. Believe me, it’s not. If I wanted to put something in my head it wouldn’t be pain. No, I’m not going to share my secret fantasies with you so don’t panic.

Many other diseases with which people are afflicted are also painful. I’m not suggesting that CRPS/RSD  is different. What I am saying is that my experience and your experience of pain will always be unique. I believe there are many reasons for this variance. It’s the way in which we “receive” these “pain”  signals. Because we are all unique individuals, our bodies, minds and spirits perceive and distribute this pain in different ways. Body, mind and spirit must work together in order for healing to take place, just as they work together to bring painful experiences to our reality.

Modern medicine is wonderful but those magical pills the doctor gives you may not help you if you don’t assist your body in its own natural healing process.  (I’m all for natural remedies but there are times when you just need to see a medical doctor so I’m not suggesting that you don’t seek treatment.)  What I can tell you for sure though, is that our thoughts are a powerful influence over how we feel. The mindful actions that we take or don’t take to heal, will strongly impact the body’s natural ability to recover from anything.

What we believe is what we attract to us. A belief is a persistent thought that we just keep thinking over and over and over and over and over and over again (you get the idea, right?) until that thought just takes control.  The thought can be good or it can be bad. It can help or it can harm. We believe what we tell ourselves, “right? Of course, right!”

(Didn’t you just love Fiddler on the Roof? I  must say I’m a bit of a yenta in my own way. Even though the word has a negative connotation, the root of it actually comes from the Italian for “kind”.  I think there are good yentas and bad yentas. A good yenta (that’s me) provides knowledge and wisdom about all things.  A bad yenta is a major pain in the tuchas and a gossip. (e. g. the receptionist where I work) For those unfamiliar with the Yiddish word “yenta” see Wikipedia – better yet , see Fiddler on the Roof!)

So, where was I? Oh  yes. If you give your power to those negative thoughts,  you will own the disease and it will own you.  You will be cellmates for life. (sort of like marriage) Rather, if you have thoughts of opposition to your condition you will allow the healing to take place. I’m not talking about a “cure”. I’m talking about a healing.  Healing is an ongoing process but it can most certainly bring about a cure. This “opposition process” will enable you to see that your thoughts can actually work to make you feel better.

There are those times when we will feel overwhelmed by the intensity of pain. This is when we must actively acknowledge and accept what is going on with our body and learn to love ourselves in spite of illness. This is a time that as we nurture our bodies with medication or other pain modalities, we have to nurture our minds and spirits with love.  We have to love ourselves through those painful episodes in order to get to the other side of them. The instant we begin to think in this way is the instant we begin the process of self-healing.

Pain can inhibit us from doing normal daily activities and from spending quality time with family and friends. We begin to feel guilty. We feel like unproductive members of society. And because we don’t have a “visible” illness like a broken leg for example, others will often perceive this illness as the “oh it’s all in your head syndrome”. Do you know how many times I’ve heard………..”well you look great, I would have no idea you were sick if you hadn’t told me. This is why it is so very important to love and heal yourself each and every moment of everyday, because YOU ARE IMPORTANT and YOU DO MATTER.

It’s even more important to remember, however that loving and accepting ourselves doesn’t mean we have to wallow in the shit. We can empower ourselves to feel better in the midst of any crisis. Even if we just make ourselves laugh for ten seconds.  It’s ten seconds you have being and feeling positive rather than being and feeling negative. Those seconds add up to minutes and minutes add up to hours and soon we understand that all life really is means living in the moment; being happy in each moment. And yes, even being at peace that we may be afflicted with an illness. Every good and bad experience we have in our lives is what makes us unique. CRPS or ANY disease is what we may be experiencing in a particular moment or even in many, many moments of our lives, but that isn’t what defines us.  Disease doesn’t define you or give you a label. Only you can define you.

The two most powerful words in the Universe are “I AM”.  God is the I AM presence. You are the I AM because God is within you.  When you attach any negative thought to the I AM you are creating your own fate because this is what you are stating that you believe about yourself. Each time you say “I am in pain”; “I am not well” then you are breaking down the wholeness of God who you really are and making yourself more susceptible to receiving these negative thoughts.(dis-EASE)  By consistently using these types of phrases, you are impeding yourself from becoming well because your entire being is reacting to your words.  The energy of your body is literally vibrating this negativity and bringing it back to you, therefore making you more sensitive to the pain. The Law of Attraction – that which is like into itself is drawn.

However, by saying, I am healed. I am well, I am happy, I am feeling great, you send out the vibration of really feeling that way. Your body, mind and spirit will respond in kind because you are “opposing” the negative thoughts. Each time that you tell yourself that you are well and whole and good and one with God, your life and health improves and it becomes more difficult for dis-EASE  to attack you. Again, the Law of Attraction.

I’m not saying this is easy. I know it isn’t.  I’m not being insensitive because I can empathize with painful experiences and I practice this type of healing myself. I like to say that I am always in a constant state of healing.  At least, that is where I strive to be by consistently examining my thoughts and by practicing mindful awareness. As humans, we must learn to live in the moment. When you think about it, that’s really all we have. (Wait, I already said that  – it must be important!)  Worrying about things we can’t change and giving our power over to a disease takes those precious moments of life away from us. Life on this physical plane will be gone soon enough. Enjoy the moments.

L’Chaim! To Life!




For those of you wondering, I really do like my husband (most days).  It’s just fun to pick on him.  🙂

Sending healing love, prayers and blessings to each and every one of you. Thank you for being part of my experience.

Pu Pu Pu = literally spitting the words “pu pu pu” or “toi toi toi”.  Yiddish for warding off the evil eye.  Who needs protective crystals when you can spit?

For more information on RSD please check out this site: