Happy Anniversary, I Love You, But Please Shut the F**k Up!

 

 

Dear Al,

Although I love you, there are days that you annoy the crap out of me.

There are those moments when I wish you would just shut the f**K up and stop talking. Although you are one of the smartest people I know and most of the time I really enjoy our conversations, I really don’t care about your irrational ideas of prepping for a zombie apocalypse, government conspiracy theories and random scientific facts that you believe I need to know or I couldn’t possibly be happy. If you want to talk science, let’s talk about where diamonds come from. Actually, that reminds me. You owe me a trip to the jewelers. Should I have our children remind you as to why, you big dumbass? 

Oh and I really don’t want a permit to carry that gun you bought me for a “present” (gee thanks). I’d rather carry a gorgeous Chanel bag. You, however, would call that sick and twisted in your limited understanding of accessories.

There are days when I actually dream of killing you and it makes me smile. Really big. Those are the only moments that I don’t mind you blaring the First 48 at a pitch that could break the sound barrier. I get lots of ideas from that show. (People reading this – it’s just a satire – so don’t call the police)

Sometimes I imagine that you have a hearing aid as big as a tuba and I see myself shouting into it when you’re sleeping. Maybe you’ll hear me then. You certainly don’t have a problem hearing that twig snap under a deer hoof 500 yards away.

They say in marriage you need to take the good with the bad. I would actually like to know who really said that but, whatever. The bottom line is that although some days it actually seems as though we are worlds apart this is actually a good thing. We each bring a unique perspective and vibration (vibrations are good) to our relationship. And, although I sometimes have the aforementioned feelings, I cherish your innate goodness, kindness, generosity and the love in your heart. Each time I daydream of seeing your mouth covered in duct tape, I look up to find you have done yet another something wonderful for me and I thank God that I haven’t given in to my baser instincts.

Even with all of your faults, (we already acknowledged that I don’t have any but I’m sure you won’t remember that discussion) I love you endlessly. Thank you for the gift of yourself that you give me each day. I love you more each time I see you (especially when you first get your hair cut because you look so hot – sorry kids) I digress……..

Happy 18th Anniversary. Screw the haters who said we couldn’t do it. We belong to each other for all eternity.

Dana 

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So I wrote the above letter to my husband three years ago, on our 18th anniversary, and posted it on Facebook  Today, we are celebrating 21 years of marriage. We’ve actually been together for 26 years but it took a little while to get “some shit straightened out” before we actually got married.  (Let your imagination run wild here people)

Last year, on our 20th anniversary, we renewed our wedding vows but I didn’t get the new anniversary band I wanted.  Al acted all hurt because he didn’t think I wanted my original band anymore.

So fine, play that game! Pretending to be all sentimental. You think I can’t see through that! You just wanted to spend the money on the stupid bunker.

Are you kidding me?  $20,000 for a building that goes in the ground and doesn’t even have running water or a toilet? No way.  So, I didn’t get the ring, (at least that’s what he thinks) but he didn’t get the bunker. He did get a hole in the ground though. We bought grave sites. He can use his any way he pleases.

So now we’re at 21 years.  Sigh. It seems like it was just yesterday that we exchanged our vows.  I remember that I was all bent and twisted over this corset thing I had to wear under my dress. I thought it made me look fat.  Now, I wish I was that fat.  I will never forget the ladies at the corset shop. The shop had been “on the avenue” for years and so had the ladies!  The corset shop was where all the nice Jewish girls in the neighborhood went to get fitted for bras when we began to blossom. (if you weren’t Jewish then you went to Woolworth’s for your bras but, whatever) 

44 GG Lady:     Fat? What fat? You’re gorgeous. Look at that figure! Look at those boobies!

Me:                 (in my head) OMG! – what a yenta!

52 FFF Lady:    Look how young and firm! (she pushes my boob up just a little, takes off her glasses and peers a little closer at my cleavage. Oh my,  bubbelah, sweetie, you have a love bite! She nudges 44 GG with her arm and gives her a wink.  My Moishe, may he rest in peace, always gave me love bites when he was fershnikit from the peppermint Schnapps. (Jewish moonshine)  Oy, such memories. The rest of the time his schmeckle – not so firm like a ripe cucumber – more like a shriveled sea urchin.  But, he was a good man. He was a kvetch but he was a good man.  Did you know that my Moishe………………

Me:             Um, excuse me. I don’t mean to be rude but are we finished here?

So, where was I?  Yes, 21 years. I love my husband more each day.  He’s great at mopping floors.  (Who’s the bitch now? Yeh, that’s right)  And so what if I shake him when he’s snoring and then pretend I’m sleeping.  It can’t be good to lay on your back and gasp for air like that.  I love him too much to watch his body go through that trauma. Hehe. 🙂

We’ve faced many challenges over the years.  Much has changed. We’ve given each other the space to be our own person. We’ve grown separately but we’ve grown together – we journey side by side yet, at the same time, we journey as one.

I’m Jewish, he’s Catholic. I was Catholic. He’s Catholic. I was Buddhist; he’s Catholic, I was Hindu; he’s Catholic, I was a pagan and a little white witchy; he’s Catholic.  Hmmm……..do you see a pattern here?  He’s who he is and he’s allowed me to be who I am. Because of that mindset, there is nothing we can’t talk about. We don’t have arguments. We have constructive disagreements which allows us the safe space to be who we are.

There are many things we don’t agree on but so much more that we do. (like intelligent life outside of Earth)  I have to wonder though, since God is God of the Universe, are there Catholics in outer space and is Passover celebrated on the dark side of the moon?

These are the type of things I often ponder.

Hey, pass that vetiver back here, will you? (It’s legal and it’s good shit)

 

Much love,

Dana

 

 

 

Humans, Star People or Something Else?

 

Why am I here?  I’ve often asked myself this question when I was getting stoned but I haven’t smoked pot in a very long time.  Now I just ask the question because I want to know why God put me on this Earth to go through all the crap I’ve lived through.

But, speaking of being stoned, did you know that just about all (maybe even all) native cultures smoked or drank some kind of plant medicine for healing or, to transport their consciousness in order to commune with who or what they called God? I don’t know about you but I find this fascinating. People have been getting high since the beginning of time.  People have also been debauched since the beginning of time. And gay. And thieves. And prostitutes.

Just read the history of the world.  Just read the Bible. It’s all there.

It makes me crazy when people say “what is this world coming to?”  I know I was a dirty, drunken slut (actually “whore” sounds more genteel, right? – I hate to offend)  in a past life but that doesn’t mean I didn’t believe in God or deserve His love.

I really need to stop digressing when I write. Sometimes it even annoys me……………..

Some would say we chose to come to Earth. Really? From where?  This just begs another question……….who are we and where are we from?

Okay, we know we’re humans – well we have human bodies anyway.

I don’t particularly feel like a human.  Humans suck – not all humans suck all of the time. But, a good majority of human sucks most of the time.

That’s been my experience. I hope yours has been better.

I have always felt like I was from “somewhere else.”  Ever since I can remember, I never felt like I belonged here. There is nothing worse than feeling out of place – especially when you’re a kid.  I covered up those feelings with a wise ass attitude but deep inside I was really hurting.  I was longing for something but I didn’t know what that something was.

I would look up at the stars and wonder what was really out there.  I was fascinated by the idea of other inhabited planets and galaxies.  My favorite show all those years ago was “Lost in Space.” It seemed perfectly normal to me to have a robot for a friend. ( but I did think that Dr. Smith was a traitorous pansy ass)

This much I know.  We all come from God or Source. We are all born of Earthly bodies. We all have a soul although our birthplace varies.  Some of us were born in other worlds or realms. Some were born on another planet or star. We were chosen to be sent to Earth or made the choice to come here to help raise the vibration of the planet.  Our purpose is to assist in illuminating other souls and to help them understand the meaning of life which, most of us are still trying to figure out.

Are you still with me or did you get the x out of here?  Okay. Good. I’m glad you stayed.

If you can accept this you must be able to accept the idea of past lives, reincarnation and ancient civilizations. How could only one planet in the whole Universe (now called Multiverse) be gifted with life?  Are we so full of our own egos that we can’t see that?  Do we not dare think so openly because of a particular religious affiliation?  If you are Jewish this doesn’t change the Old Testament stories. Nor does it change the Jesus story of the New Testament.  God is not limited or defined to Earth alone. God is God of a vast and unlimited Multiverse.  Let that penetrate for a moment or two.

Mainstream media usually depicts “extra terrestrials” (I hate that term so I am going to use the term “star people”) as being frightening and ugly. We are taught to fear that which we don’t understand. (Just wait until those UFO government files are declassified people!!!)  How else can we see these beings except as scary and manipulative if, as humans, we can’t even accept ourselves as being equal to one another?

Throughout ancient history, there are many, many examples of how the star people integrated with societies throughout the world. The biggest example that comes to mind is ancient Egypt.  Have you seen some of those hieroglyphs? Take a good look at the ones with the wings in the picture here.  You will never convince me that they are birds. The Egyptians knew how to draw birds. These, my friends, are not birds.  They are “ancient astronaut vehicles.”

Wait!

Stop!

Don’t go yet! 

I promise I took my medicine.

Just open your mind to the idea that throughout history our societies were influenced by other worldly beings.

The pyramids of Giza are positioned in a way that is more than coincidental. Three pyramids perfectly match with the stars in Orion’s belt. Even the size of the pyramids are related to the brightness of the stars. Two pyramids are identical with the third being half as high as them just as two of the stars are equally bright with the third half as bright. The pyramids are even positioned in an almost perfect line with the North Magnetic Pole.

Coincidence? Nah. This positioning of the pyramids would have required massive knowledge in science, geometry, and astronomy at the very least. How did an ancient civilization acquire such knowledge?

Ancient Egypt is only one example. Look at the ancient technology of the Mayans, the Aztecs and the Incas.

It still remains a mystery as to how Machu Picchu was built. The stones in these amazing buildings were not sealed with mortar.  The stones were cut so precisely, and wedged so closely together, that a credit card cannot be inserted between them.  Where did this technology come from? Peru is a seismically unstable country. What I find particularly fascinating is that Machu Picchu was constructed on top of two fault lines. When an earthquake occurs, the stones in the buildings are said to “dance;” that is, they bounce through the tremors and then fall back into place. Without this building method, many of the best known buildings at Machu Picchu would have collapsed long ago. Fascinating, right? How long did it take our modern architects to come up with this engineering?

Stories of intelligent beings visiting our planet from the cosmos date back to the beginning of time, and span throughout many different native cultures at various points in human history. Antiquity is filled with stories of beings, materials and flying objects that, according to modern day thinking, should not have existed. Maybe these people were just stoned. Or maybe they saw these things because they were stoned and their unconscious minds were open to receive.

This Multiverse is full of beautiful and magical mysteries. Open your eyes. Open your hearts to the possibilities.  Let go of what you’ve been taught and embrace what you feel. The possibilities are endless.  I believe we already know these mysteries but have “forgotten” them as we’ve transcended lifetimes.

This brings me to the 10 extra DNA strands we have in our body that medical science calls “junk DNA”.  No way. Our creator is way too intelligent to have left unconnected pieces inside of us.  At some point in the evolution of man, these strands served a purpose. We just don’t remember what it is. But, we are starting to remember.  We are starting to evolve as spiritual beings.

Recent information has come to light which reveals that the higher purpose of this so-called “junk DNA,” is to support a “multidimensional consciousness.”  This “consciousness” is actually our natural state of being. Realigning and reconnecting with our creator is how we can attain that state and even reconnect those DNA strands. When we are multidimensional, our physic abilities are reawakened and we develop an ability to connect on the etheric level. This is where we can live in multiple dimensions at once. We can hear, see and communicate with others in these dimensions.

Think I”m nuts yet? Ask Al.  When I come home he doesn’t ask how I am today, he asks who I am today. Sometimes I will ring the Tibetan bell outside of my door to clear the energy before I enter.  Other times, I will touch the mezuzah on my door post and kiss my fingers.

For those not born into one of the twelve tribes of Israel, the mezuzah, which is placed on doorways in Jewish homes, holds a piece of parchment containing two selections of verses (Deuteronomy 6:4-9 and Deuteronomy 11:13-21. This is the Shema prayer which expresses the unity of God. The verses start with “Hear, O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is One,” and continue with the commandment to love God with all of your heart. The parchment is placed in a small encasement and affixed on doorposts of the home. The tradition in many Jewish homes is to place one’s hand on the mezuzah when passing by. Some kiss the hand that touched it.

Sometimes I just say thank you God or thank you Jesus or Mother Gaia (Mother Earth) for providing the things I need. Sometimes I thank Lord Ganesha for clearing obstacles from my path. Sometimes I thank Quan Yin for the beautiful love she brings to my heart. All of those and so much more are magnificent. Can you give me a good reason why I shouldn’t experience all of it?

The point for me is that I am all religions and all religions are in me. I am the Universe/Multiverse and the Universe/Multiverse is in me.  There are many paths to God and God has many names. For myself, I have shed the idea of defining myself to a particular religion or belief system.  I actually love learning about all paths to God; all paths to the Light. Each story is beautiful and amazing in it’s own way.  It doesn’t matter to me if I get to God by the stairs, the escalator or the elevator. I am only interested in getting there so why not experience all of the amazing ways to know and understand God?  Of those various paths, take what resonates with you and let the rest of what you don’t need or want, go. Just let it go.

We were taught that religious groups had to behave in certain ways or do certain things or you couldn’t belong to their affiliation. Says who?  Really, tell me.  Says who?  Is God actually the CEO sitting behind some great big Christian, Jewish or Hindu desk somewhere? How do we know one story is true and another is not? That one way is the path to salvation and the other is the path to some kind of hell? Did God actually cite all of the individual “laws” or “rules” that each religion has?  Tell me. Show me.

Many say that the Bible is God’s Word. Perhaps it is but it is also full of contradictions.  God didn’t actually write the Bible, print it out and send it to each individual in the world by UPS. (I have nothing against Fed Ex , btw)  It was humans professing to hear the Word of God who actually wrote the Bible. How do we know they heard God correctly?  How do we know that they correctly interpreted what God was saying to them?

Did you ever think that maybe Adam and Eve looked like apes, thereby giving us the story of creation in both the biblical and scientific sense?  Perhaps they were ape like. Perhaps God gave them fur because they didn’t have clothes. Can science and religion both be right?

Did you ever wonder why in the Old Testament God was portrayed as a “vengeful and jealous God” and then one day he just changed His mind? Just like that He went from extreme vengeance by  proclaiming “an eye for an eye” to espousing “love the neighbor”?  If that resonates with you that’s okay but it doesn’t resonate with me. I believe there is much, much more to the story. I believe there are things that we will never understand as long as we walk on this Earth. I also believe that star people are somehow involved in the whole mystery. Call me crazy. It wouldn’t be the first time and I’m sure it won’t be the last. 🙂

In my opinion, we can’t rely on another person’s experience of religion or beliefs. We have to find out for ourselves.  Why don’t we let ourselves experience this freely?   The reason? Fear.  Fear is what keeps us tied to a certain belief system. Fear that if we don’t follow what we were taught then something bad will happen to us and we will not be in communion with God. Well, guess what people…….God is inside each and every one of us and if you look for the light you will find it.  The light will illuminate your path as you walk it and you will begin to understand your own personal truth. You will come to know how you were evolved. where you came from and possibly, if you listen closely enough, where you’re going.

 

Love,

Dana